Stress | Mate māharahara

Key points about stress

  • Stress (mate māharahara) is your body’s natural reaction to a threat or an excess demand.
  • Some stress is good for you and helps motivate you to get something done. But when you are under too much stress for too long, it affects your health and wellbeing.
  • Learning how to manage stress is a key life skill.
Woman silhouetted walking on beach in NZ
Print this page

  • When you are stressed, your heart pounds, your breathing quickens, your muscles tense and you start to sweat. Once the threat or difficulty passes, these physical changes settle down.
  • If you're constantly stressed, your body stays in a state of high alert and you may develop stress-related symptoms, which can affect your body, mood and behaviour. You may also not think clearly.
  • Signs of too much stress can include headaches, stomach aches, poor sleep, being tired and irritable, or using stimulants such as coffee or sugar to keep you going.
  • Health conditions that can develop as a result of too much stress include high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, anxiety and depression.
  • Because stress is a part of life, learning how to manage it is key to maintaining good physical and mental health. 

Stress is our body’s natural reaction to a demand or threat. It triggers your body’s fight, freeze or flight response, which causes a surge of hormones that would have helped our ancestors to run away from the stressor or fight it. It is supposed to be a short, sharp response to danger. But if you feel stressed a lot of the time, you put a lot of pressure on your health.

Stress can come from many sources such as health issues, relationship problems, work, financial issues, deadlines, exams or unrealistic expectations you put on yourself. What causes stress for you may not be stressful for someone else. 

Some stress is helpful as it can motivate you to meet a deadline or get things done. But long-term stress can increase the risk of health conditions, such as:

A stress-related condition called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop after experiencing trauma, such as from war, physical or sexual assault, or a natural disaster.

Video: Stress

This video may take a few moments to load.

(NHS Choices, UK, 2014)

Common symptoms caused by long-term stress include:

  • headaches, muscle tension, neck or back pain
  • dry mouth
  • feeling anxious or jittery
  • being more irritable or angry than normal
  • overeating or loss of appetite and not eating well
  • upset stomach
  • chest pains, rapid heartbeat
  • not sleeping
  • feeling tired, flat, down or worn out
  • finding it hard to concentrate or focus
  • needing coffee, energy drinks or sugar to keep going
  • increased skin infectionsmouth ulcerscolds, rashes or asthma. 

It helps to learn how to recognise stress and find ways to cope with it before your body's stress response fully kicks in. 

Here are some ideas to help you get started: 

  • Include things you find relaxing in your everyday life, such as listening to music, mindfulness meditation, connecting with friends and regular exercise.
  • Learn useful anti-stress life skills such as effective problem solving, healthy communication and healthy thinking.
  • Maintain a healthy work-life balance, take frequent breaks and find other ways to manage stress at work.
  • Take care of yourself by being physically active every day, eating a healthy diet, having good sleep habits
  • Make time to do fun things and spend time with the people who are important to you. 

Because stress is a part of life, learning how to manage it is an important part of having good physical and mental health.

This involves learning to recognise what sparks stress in your daily life and having a grab-bag of anti-stressing tools that you use often and before your body's stress response fully kicks in. The key is to wind down before you get wound up. The more anti-stress tools you can learn the better – get started today!

Video: Tips for Managing Stress

This video may take a few moments to load.

(Mind, UK, 2021)

Top tips for managing stress

Do

 

Exercise

Be active every day. Try walking, swimming, cycling, dancing or play a team sport – just find something you enjoy and keep doing it.

Sleep

Lack of good sleep can increase your stress levels. Learn about good sleep habits.

Eat well

healthy diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables and low in fatty, sugary and processed foods gives your body the nutrients it needs to help you manage your stress levels. There are also foods you can eat to boost your mood.

Find a relaxing hobby

Take part in activities that calm you – such as gardening, painting, sewing, knitting, carving. Try different things to find what works best for you – then do it regularly!

Breathe deeply

You can relax and take in more oxygen if you breathe using your diaphragm. To practice diaphragmatic breathing:

  • Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
  • Breathe in deeply through your nose, making sure the hand on your stomach rises and the hand on your chest doesn't.
  • Breathe out very slowly, then clench your abdomen muscles.
  • Repeat these steps four times.

If you would like to find out more about healthy breathing, there are breathing therapists listed online or ask your GP.

Visualise yourself in a calm, relaxed place

Close your eyes and picture yourself in a calm, relaxing scene. such as lying on the beach. Keep imagining this for a few minutes or even just for a few seconds to help your body and mind unwind.

Practice mindfulness meditation

Mindfulness meditation is a technique to bring your focus into the moment and thereby escape some of the constant chatter of your brain. There are apps and online courses, and classes in some centres.

Do yoga, tai chi or other mindful-based movement

Yoga and other physical practices that encourage calm, mindful connection between body and mind have been found to reduce stress.

Try massage and other complementary therapies

Massage, hypnotherapy and aromatherapy have all been shown to have some effect in reducing tress.

Listen to calming music

Listening to music you enjoy, particularly music that soothes you, can also calm your nervous system and help reduce your stress levels.

Shrug it off

Raise your shoulders, inhale, and then drop them and exhale. Do three times.

Take a break

Give yourself a breather every now and then. take a short break during the day at work or at home to do something you really enjoy. Make sure you plan for a longer break or two over the year to relax more fully.

Connect with family/whānau and friends

Connecting with family/whānau and friends is a great way to get support when you need it. They can help you take a break from what you are stressing over and to work out whether it really is a problem. 

Talk to someone

If you are finding the other stress tips aren’t enough for you to manage your stress, talk to someone you trust before it affects your health. Talking with a clergy member, kaumatua, counsellor or your GP can really help. You can find a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist(external link) yourself or ask your doctor for a recommendation.

Learn skills that keep stress at bay

This includes self-assertion skills, such as being able to say ‘no’ when you need to. It also helps to learn to express anger in a constructive way and practice positive self-talk. Cognitive behavioural therapy is useful for developing these skills.

Get organised for and at work

Read about how to manage stress at work.

Get a pet

People with pets tend to feel calmer and less stressed.

Write it down

Keep a notepad by the bed and write down what is on your mind before you go to sleep.  Writing how you feel about situations that bother you can also help to reduce stress.

Video: What Can You Do to Get Through a Crap Week?

This video may take a few moments to load.

(Dr Mike Evans, Canada, 2015)

Don't
Use cigarettes, caffeine, alcohol or snack foods These only make things worse in the long term, even if they appear to offer some kind of temporary relief. 
Over-extend yourself Instead, take one step at a time.
Blame yourself if you don't reach all your goals Remember, these may be possible next time. 

If you are finding it difficult to manage your stress, tell your doctor or find a counsellor or therapist(external link) to talk to. 

CALM – Computer Assisted Learning for the Mind(external link) A University of Auckland website with a range of tools to help you manage stress and develop greater happiness through:

  • developing mental resilience
  • managing stress, anxiety and depression
  • having healthy relationships
  • finding meaning in life.

Small Steps(external link) Whether you want to maintain wellness, find relief or get help for yourself, friends or whānau, Small Steps is with you and for you – he waka eke noa.

Resources

Apps/tools

General anxiety scale (GAD-7)
Positive relationships quiz(external link)
Self-test depression (PHQ9)(external link)

Brochures

Managing stress – the essentials(external link) Farmstrong, NZ, 2019
Managing stress – the warning signs(external link) Farmstrong, NZ, 2019
Signs of stress and mental health problems(external link) Farmstrong, NZ, 2018
He rongoā kei te kōrero – talking therapies for Māori(external link) Te Pou, NZ, 2010
A guide to talking therapies in NZ(external link) Te Pou, NZ, 2009
Stress – Kuraruraru [PDF, 735 KB] Books on Prescription, NZ
Finding balance – Te whare tapa whā (Individual)(external link) Mental Health Foundation, NZ
Identifying your challenges and practising balanced thinking(external link) Mental Health Foundation, NZ
Switching on your relaxation response(external link) Mental Health Foundation, NZ
Tank on empty?(external link) Mental Health Foundation, NZ

Note: These resources are from overseas so some details may be different in New Zealand, eg, phone 111 for emergencies or, if it’s not an emergency, freephone Healthline 0800 611 116.
Simple steps to calm your emotions(external link) This Way Up, New South Wales Multicultural Health Communication Service, Australia English(external link), Arabic(external link), Chinese (simplified)(external link), Chinese (traditional)(external link), Filipino(external link), Greek(external link), Hindi(external link), Italian(external link), Korean(external link), Spanish(external link), Vietnamese(external link)
Effective ways to express yourself(external link) This Way Up, New South Wales Multicultural Health Communication Service, Australia English(external link), Arabic(external link), Chinese (simplified)(external link), Chinese (traditional)(external link), Filipino(external link), Greek(external link), Hindi(external link), Italian(external link), Korean(external link), Spanish(external link), Vietnamese(external link)
Five helpful steps for tackling  your problems(external link) This Way Up, New South Wales Multicultural Health Communication Service, Australia English(external link), Arabic(external link), Chinese (simplified)(external link), Chinese (traditional)(external link), Filipino(external link), Greek(external link), Hindi(external link), Italian(external link), Korean(external link), Spanish(external link), Vietnamese(external link)
Stress and stress management in multiple languages(external link) Health Translations, Australia

References

  1. Stress(external link) MedLine Plus, US
  2. Stress management(external link) Mayo Clinic, US, 2019

Continuing professional development

Webinar: De-escalation(external link) Elle Cradwick, Mental Health Educator,  Emmy Smart, Educational Psychologist

This presentation includes:

  • How to recognise and de-escalate heightened behaviours, from agitation ramping up to aggression
  • What responses are needed to de-escalate individuals at different points of the escalation cycle, including how to prevent people escalating to aggression and loss of control where possible
  • About the stress response system and what this means both for the escalated person and ourselves.

Video: De-Escelation Webinars

You can watch the video, answer questions and claim hours with a certificate.

(My Health Hub, NZ, 2023)

Need help now?

Healthline logo in supporters block

Need to talk logo

Healthpoint logo

Credits: Healthify editorial team. Healthify is brought to you by Health Navigator Charitable Trust.

Reviewed by: Tina Earl, Clinical Psychologist

Last reviewed:

Page last updated: